And perhaps to a greater extent, personality typing interests me; particularly the theories associated with the Myers-Briggs. And the theories in this are aligned with those developed by David Keirsey, who wrote a best-selling book in which he exposed four main temperaments deriving from yes my beloved Myers-Briggs. So now-- Fisher did tons of research on her four types; mostly through the personality test on her dating website, chemistry.com. She also emphasized secondary temperament type, which I think was wise of her.* So yes, this book is original and novel at times, but its also reductive. The best example stems from Fishers defining each of the four types by a specific chemical that helps define their personality (Testosterone for Directors, Serotonin for Builders, Dopamine for Explorers, and Estrogen for Negotiators). She bases most of her research, again, from chemistry.com, and her findings with relation to attraction and type matching are interesting; different from other type-based relationship theories Ive read.
Once again she has shifted my perspective of relationships and how they work (or don't) - not just in romantic love, but in all human interactions.
I don't think it's worth the money and time to read the book (I read it in an afternoon at the bookstore), cause her reasons about why people are attracted to others are already universally known. Attraction is about being compatible/one minded with the opposite sex and a special feeling, not a statistical/logical thing.
The book begins with a brief personality test and then introduces the reader to the four primary personality types: Explorer, Builder, Director, and Negotiator. Why Her?" is at it's weakest when attempts to use historical figures to represent the personality types.
A little bit.) First of all, it's kind of interesting how there's a book about such a thing because love is so freakishly complicated to understand. I think that's why love is so complicated to understand. (Because of personality, physical traits and looks, eh-ti-cuh.) LOVE: An emotion that hopes, needs, wants, endures, protects, and never forgets (no matter what someone's physical traits or thoughts are). If you're attracted by looks, you DON'T love them. Because what happens if a horse runs over that person's face over and over and over, and they no longer look the way that attracted you. My FIRST love (when I was 13) was NOT out of attraction. But I kept thinking, "If the guy I liked had the personality of Bob, or was as good a friend as Bob was, he'd definitely be my dream guy." And then I started noticing that if I wanted the guy I liked to change, then I didn't like him. -_-) I started liking Bob. THIS love towards Bob took ages to develop. I thought that was out of his personality ACTUALLY being kind, so I was attracted to him because of that. I don't know if he LOVED me but I know that he was attracted because of my looks. (We're still friends but I don't look at him in that way anymore.) THIS love happened within two weeks. Explorers (those who love to experience new things) are attracted to other explorers. Negotiators (those who look at both good and bad conclusions of a problem) are attracted to directors. There's a bit of each personality type in everyone, and even if some personalities dominate over others, things work out in all sorts of unexpected ways. The test told me I'm an negotiator/explorer, but there must be millions of other negotiators/explorers in this world, and I KNOW that no one else in this world thinks like I do or has the same personality as me. If I'm a negotiator and I'm attracted to other directors, there's no way there can be one director that won't drive me crazy at some point in time. They also do things to girls that they think is for their own good. Since guys and girls are just naturally opposites in this case, how on earth can you find someone that you can COMPLETELY agree and cooperate with? I guess the attraction thing AND the point of this book is to find someone who is less likely to disagree and argue with you. HOWEVER, the problem I have with the rules of attraction AND this book is that love doesn't care what you agree and disagree on. Maybe you think that you need to spend money on things you NEED over things you want, but the person you love likes to spend money on things that they want. Agreeing on materialistic things doesn't matter in love. NOT TO MISTAKEN ATTRACTION AND LOVE FOR EACH OTHER. NOT TO MISTAKEN ATTRACTION AND LOVE FOR EACH OTHER. 2. Materialistic things DO NOT matter in love at all. 4. Out of the 6 billion people on this world, every single person is different and thinks different and looks different. (Your average dream prince.) But I've fallen for someone who gives me the cold shoulder sometimes, and is strictly serious at some points, and gives me a hard time at the worst of times (probably the opposite of what I really, really want), but I go to him for hugs when I need them the most and he happens to be the dude who's most comforting to me.
The four types are Explorer - dopamine, example, Helen Keller Builder - serotonin, example, George Washington Director - testosterone, example most CEOs Negotiator - estrogen, examples include Gandhi and Charles Darwin I liked the concepts and the discussion in the book.
By many accounts, Fisher is considered the worlds leading expert on the topic of love.